A couple weeks ago I got a DVD in the mail from Patton Oswalt for a movie called THE SNAKE. He had raved about how I needed to watch it NOW, talking about how the lead performance was one for the ages. I finally sat down at 12:30 the other night to watch a few minutes of it before going to bed, thinking I would catch the rest over cereal the next morning. Fast forward to 3 AM. I watched the whole movie straight through – I COULD NOT SHUT IT OFF – and I’m laying in bed all wired and freaked out, trying to process what I just saw. Was that the most repellent movie I’ve ever seen? Or was it a great movie about the most repellent character I’ve ever seen? And was it really THAT funny?
THE SNAKE is a micro-budget movie shot in San Francisco about the worst person on earth. Literally. After fifteen minutes you want to murder the bag of human garbage called “Ken”, a desperate jerkoff whose every action hinges on what can bring him the most satisfaction at that given moment, no matter what the horrible consequences. He’s a lowlife of the highest order – a guy who lives his life for the approval of his dickhead friends, who don’t seem to particularly care about his choices anyway. In the opening scene Ken passes on hooking up with a really hot girl at a bar because he’s concerned that she might have a big ass – he can’t tell from the way she’s sitting on her barstool, and after a friend makes an offhand comment, it’s all he can think about. In the end he’d rather beat off at home than risk going off with someone that doesn’t fit the mold of who he ‘should’ be seen with.
(As a sidebar, Ken has the worst mustache in movie history. The worst. I’m not even going to attempt to describe it, because I will fall so short of how skin-crawling this thing is.)
Long story short – Ken sees a woman who he thinks is hot and follows her into her Body Issues discussion group at a local women’s center. He weasels his way into the meetings – even though he’s a dude – by lying about his volunteer work at a nearby burn unit. And his goal from that point is to hook up with that woman, who is fighting through a severe eating disorder.
Now you know me. I’m hardly the transgressive type who loves laughing at human darkness and suffering for its own sake. I can’t stand Todd Solondz, and the wallow-fest that was SYNECHODE NY just made me want to hug my dog that much harder. So why am I hyping this movie? Because its whole universe hinges on Adam Goldstein (who also co-wrote and co-directed the film with Eric Kutner) and his portrayal of Ken. It’s one of those performances that you cannot believe you’re seeing. Goldstein plays it SO slimy at every single turn. There’s barely a line that comes out of his mouth that doesn’t make you want to punch him. But he’s hilarious – it’s like Chris Elliott’s character as performed by Daniel Day-Lewis. An absolute turn of brilliance. If you had to put Goldstein up against Day-Lewis last year, I might have to flip a coin.
Also, it’s clear the filmmakers know the score with Ken. You get the feeling THEY don’t want to be near him either – it’s almost like THE SNAKE is a nature film documenting the worst animal on earth, who just happens to be human and prowling the streets of San Francisco.
I’m not sure how or when you can see this movie – I believe that Patton is hosting another screening in January – but you should. Adam Goldstein gives the performance of all of our lives.
More info on THE SNAKE:
Tom.